Feedback: Marius and "The Enemy Within Part 2"

[deathpixie]

Well, what a lot of reading treats to find after my adventures at the doctor's office.

These two logs about Marius' ill-fated night out just blew me away. Most of all, this part of the first log:

In that moment a hundred thoughts poured through Marius' mind. That this was how Jay must have felt when Tommy was beating him -- that this was what Tommy must have felt when he was being beaten -- that people like Clarice and Mr. Wagner risked things like this every day just by walking down the street as they were -- a hundred thoughts or more that all trickled down to one simple thing:

I get it. I get it now.

That just floored me. A wonderful encompassing of Marius' way of thinking and the awful epiphany of realising his vulnerability as a mutant. The whole piece was such a perfect capturing of the character of Marius, covering things that have been hinted at but haven't been able to be stated. I adore that first log.

And then "The Enemy Within." Awesome stuff, brilliantly written. The scene between Charles, Moira, Cain and Cyttorak especially illustrated the desperate choice Cain has to make and left me waiting eagerly for the next part.

People? You all rock, so very much.

Comments

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

I haven't had bleed like this from Kurt since Youra, and even then he was repressing a lot more.

He is flailing.

[nute.livejournal.com]

Personally, I was so impressed with that one short log that brought out that response from Marius, the sudden epiphany of "I get it now". So far, he's been the happy-go-lucky person whose only seen his mutation as an inconvenience, always looking at it on the small scale.

In a lot of ways, it's the same paradigm shift Forge had when he learned about Charlie's suicide - the self-important attitude of "my life sucks, none of you can understand" kind of got blown away there. Much in the same way I highly doubt after this Marius would ever say "Oh, don't worry about that whole bigotry problem, it can't be THAT bad..."

Amazing work there.

[silensy]

Incredibly agreed. Marius's revelation was a palpable hit. I literally gasped like I'd been punched it was that spot on.

[katschei.livejournal.com]

Agreed. That log was like a punch to the gut, emotionally wrenching and with excellent character development. Those two lines were perfect: they made the scene. I am utterly blown away by how strong that scene was. Brilliant writing.